Graduation!

Yeah, yeah....I know I have avoided this blog for forever...but I have REALLY been busy! Lets see....lets see...Yeah, I graduated!!!!!! Woot! That thing that I never really believed I could do...yep...I did it!
I was soooo looking forward to our graduation banquet the week before our graduation, and lo and behold...the day of our last final we all went out for a drink after (mmmmmmmmmm...love those pina coladas), I went home and took a nap and woke up with a fever of 103. WTF??? It's like my body said, "OK, you're done with school so now you can get sick." By the time the banquet rolled around, my bestie showed up and went with the hubby and I...I wanted to party sooooo bad, but ended up with horrible chills halfway thru dinner and I slunk home. Damn! I sooo deserved to get drunk and dance with all my friends. Instead I ended up laying on the couch shivering my ass off. Well at least I didn't get the chance to make an ass out of myself dancing, I guess. LOL. The following weekend was GRADUATION! It was awesome! Mom and brother came in from out of town...bestie and kids and boyfriend came in from out of town...my two boys...and hubby. All there to watch me walk across that stage and take that degree in my hands. Funny thing is that all of my in-laws who live within a 3-mile radius of me...none of them came. WTF??? So, all I can say is I got that message loud and fucking clear...thankyouverymuch. Long story...lol.
Let's see....what else is going on? I started my new job at the beginning of June. so far it's going pretty good...but wow....I am so stressed out. I think it is even worse than school...but I am hanging in there! The workshops are driving me nuts...the last 3 days have been all about the cardiac rhythm strips, HOLY SHIT! Tomorrow is a test on those and then a math test. After that I am coming home, shedding the scrubs, packing up and going away for a 2 day getaway with the hubster. He said he thinks we need a little time alone without the kids, so we will see how that goes...I don't have high hopes, but at least I am getting out of Dodge for a few days, right?

The Agony.....

OMG...the stress...the agony....the pain....The last four weeks of class is HORRIBLE! Everyone's nerves are raw! We had our last regular psych test today and over half of the class failed it. So now all of these poor people are on the brink of failing the class. I saw (and heard) screaming, crying, cursing, threats of suicide, and threats of homicide today. It's not even funny. I actually got a B on the test and crazy as it sounds...I am having "survivor guilt." I found myself keeping back from everyone because I didn't want them to know that I actually passed. Am I crazy? I just feel so bad for them. There is certainly some hatin' going on for that professor right now. It WAS a VERY DIFFICULT test..but doable ya know? I certainly know that some people are having a tough time concentrating right now, SENIORITIS anyone? I wish I knew how to comfort them without coming off sounding smug, ya know? But I must say...WHEW...I am proud of myself!
On another note...one month till graduation day! Woot!

Can You Vomit Urine?

Ok...so....we are covering renal issues in med/surg right now. I just HAD to let you know a question that was asked by a student who will be graduating in ONE MONTH PEOPLE.
We were discussing what happens when there is renal calculi present and the patient gets hydronephrosis....wait for it...wait for it...."Dr. Instructor, I was just wondering if a patient will vomit up his urine like they do when they have a bowel obstruction and they vomit feces?" Yes, she IS graduating in ONE MONTH. Maybe.

Another overheard conversation at lunch....two soon to be graduate nursing students discussing ringworm. "Well I heard that once the medicine works, the parasite stays in your body forever and will eventually come back to the surface."

I am so confused!

Wow....I have been offered 2 jobs after I graduate in May and I am having such a hard time figuring out which job to choose....WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I have weighed the pros and cons over and over again...talked to EVERYONE to get their opinion, and I am no closer to figuring it out. Unfortunately I have to choose by FRIDAY! OMG....what to do, what to do. School and clinicals have been CRAZY the past few weeks and the overwhelmingness of it all is wearing me down...I need some kind of boost to make it through the next month and a half...SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME! Seriously. I just want calgon or something to take my ass away...I need a vacation and I don't even have a job yet.

Did you hear about the story of the NS who asked her male instructor if he wanted to feel her mastitis? Yeah. This was after learning about disorders of the ear. Can anyone say MASTOIDITIS? I have a permanent swelling behind my ear due to a nasty case of masoiditis a few years back and wanted to share...I thought maybe the students would be interested too. Stop laughing at me.

Is There One in Every Class???

Ok....We have this one student in our class who has either had EVERYDAMNONE of the diseases/conditions that we learn about OR knows someone who does. Our professor no sooner gets the name of the condition out and we see her hand in the air. Does she not hear the giggles? Now, I am an older student and I don't tend to participate in the giggling/funfest...BUT...I can see where everyone else is coming from. Funny....the day we went over STD's, her hand NEVER went up. We were all waiting.

Will I Ever Stop Crying?

Sometimes clinical is a hard row to hoe. I was in a room with my instructor and 2 other fellow nursing students one day watching one of them perform suctioning. Everything was fine. Then the room started feeling a little funny. All of a sudden it was 1978 and I was standing at the bedside of my grandmother. She was dying from lung cancer. Too weak to fight, all she could do was grimace and flinch when the catheter was inserted into her nose. When my instructor turned to ask me a question, he was met with a nursing student who had tears streaming down her cheeks. I felt so helpless. I couldn't even squeak out a response to his question of "what's wrong?" I just nodded my head and waved my hand so they would know to continue on. I was horrified. How could I let myself lose control like that? It was like a freight train coming and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
A patient on another clinical experience was an older gentleman who fell out of bed. After helping the SN who was assigned to him get him up and settled back into bed, we started talking. He had been married to his wife for 58 years, and she had passed away 6 mo. ago. He started crying. He missed her so badly and you could tell his heart was hurting. We kept him company that day and the next day when I saw him come walking down the hall with his walker, my floodgates opened once again. I don't know if he reminded me of my grandfather (who I miss very much) or if it was because of the way he cried the day before, but I do know that somehow he touched my heart.
I am scared that when I graduate from school and I am set loose on the world, I will find a job and spend my days and nights crying about the patients that I take care of. I don't want to be hardened, but I don't want to be in a constant state of sadness either. Anyone out there that can help me with this? What do you think?